The Second Semester always seems to stress people out more than any other semester, because you have finally, especially in the case of the STEM majors, like me, need to pick out our majors.

I remember being a little angry at the lie of being able to explore till my third semester but being trapped essentially in my second semester. I was utterly confused and mathematics in college, a major I once considered my own, seemed very very different.

With an interest in doing an interdisciplinary major in Mathematics and Computer Science but there was so much confusion in my head. Confusion regarding how many courses, is it 16,18 or 19? I have never coded, will I be okay sitting in a class with coders? What about if I am not meant for any of this? And I was on campus, and quite frankly quite alone and in tears the whole of my first week because every single class I attended made me feel like, what am I doing? At the end of my first week, I was sure that doing an interdisciplinary major in Computer Science and Mathematics would be the right option just because I knew too much of one thing would bore me. It was rough because I didn’t stick with the plan I made for my courses that semester either. I was relieved not because I found some inspiration from myself but rather because I asked for some help.

The hardest part of coming to college is not knowing how to navigate so many new barriers, and academics sometimes take high precedence. On a cold Friday night post-dinner in my first week, I attended a wonderful lecture by Prof Peter Semrl, and it was about his journey into mathematics, not a colloquium. I ended up seeing him walking back to his room post-dinner and made the jump of just asking him if I could talk for a minute. It ended up being a conversation of about 2.5 hours and that conversation along with many is what gives me the confidence to keep going. Every time, I have been unsure, reaching out to professors or seniors, even those who don’t fully understand your story always leaves you maybe a little scared but does leave one with the self-assurance that you can deal with it. I didn’t recognise then of course that asking questions is the biggest tool in your time in Ashoka.

Questions about academics, professors, clubs, friends and everything in the hemisphere only open you up to new thoughts, new avenues, and things you came here to experience but never imagined.

Asking takes a lot of self-confidence and courage within us. It’s understandable that as a freshman (can I say freshwoman? questions to ask), most people like me have no belief in their abilities, especially when you have peers who are geniuses. However, I don’t know if this serves a purpose or not to those of you who read this, it’s about stopping that part of yourself from that comparison or rather beginning to build the belief in your own work and capabilities. It may take more hours to do the same code or it may take you twice as long to understand the proof, but you’ll get there. And if you don’t, after putting in so much effort, none of your TAs or professors will shy away from helping you. This is something I have learnt along the way. However, more often than not, you’ll figure it out.

One of my biggest mistakes was not asking professors if there was some work or books I could begin to read to build more understanding. I wish I knew that you don’t need to have all the skills to ask or apply for positions. You amass skills along the way, you’re never enough in your head. Ask and apply instead of making the decision to reject yourself. This is a lesson I am still trying to learn. Networking does get you ahead in life, but it’s also your work ethic that people pay a lot of attention to and can carry you the miles when you need it. Your work doesn’t need to pay off in acknowledgement or opportunities all the time, sometimes it just pays off by building your confidence.